If I Could, I Would
by TarlsBlack
Summary: Abby is faced with a difficult personal situation, and is forced to rely on her family at NCIS to help her through it. Probably some swearing later on so be warned. :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. So I decided (in the shower - the BEST place for ideas - ) that I was going to do an Abby story. I really love Gibbs too. So it's very Gibbs/ Abby oriented, but NOT a pairing, because eww. It's a father/ daughter relationship. :) As always: If you recognize it, it's not mine. Enjoy!**

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**C****hapter 1**

"What do you got Abs?" Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs came into my lab and handed me my CafPow.  
"Well, Peter Montgomery had one bullet embedded in his stomach Ducky sent it up to me and I figured out that it's a bullet from a Colt Python," I moved to the table behind me and held out a jacket, "I also found some residue on Montgomery's jacket. Mass Spec told me its grease, from like a mechanic."  
"So he was at a mechanic in the last few days? Maybe his car needed a service. What about the car?" Gibbs asked.  
"Come to the evidence garage," I smiled at him, and we caught the lift down to the garage. The Petty Officer's car was sitting in the garage and the doors were all open. I wandered towards it and sipped my CafPow. I put it on the table next to the computer, "Gibbs, the steering wheel was wiped clean, as was all of the door handles. I swabbed the blood in the passenger seat and it is definitely only Montgomery's. But all of the victims stuff is in the boot. It's all been shoved in haphazardly, and I got a print. I ran it through everything and got a hit. He's a criminal, done for petty theft and assault. His name is Cyrus Dallas." I showed Gibbs the mug shot of Dallas on the computer.  
"Good job Abs." He kissed me on my forehead and left. I went back up to my lab and hugged Bert the hippo. He was my best friend at the moment. It was late, and as much as I wanted to go home, I just wanted to sleep, so I curled up on the floor with a blanket, a pillow and Bert and went to sleep.

When I woke up, it was light out, and I was not feeling good at all. I ran to the bathroom, and managed to throw the lid of the toilet open seconds before I started throwing up. I flushed the toilet and sat back on the cool floor. Then the urge to vomit happened again. I vomited, longer this time and the acid coming up burned my throat. I was throwing up stomach bile, as I had only drunk a CafPow. I flushed the toilet again, and opened the stall door. I washed my hands, my mouth and my face. The door opened and I saw Ziva in the mirror.  
"Hey, Abby. You OK? You look really pale." She said.  
"I don't feel too great." I replied, smiling gratefully at her for asking.  
"Maybe you should have something to eat." She suggested. I nodded.  
"That's probably it." She went into a stall and I left the bathroom. I saw Gibbs coming towards me and I smiled weakly.  
"Hey Abs. Are you OK? You don't look good." He said. I shook my head.  
"I don't feel good Gibbs. I really don't." I said.  
"You should go home, rest." He said.  
"I can't. We have a case." I said. I felt light headed and dizzy. I started to fall and Gibbs caught me. And then, darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

I woke up to Gibbs standing over me, looking concerned. He smiled at her. I sat up and noticed I was on the floor. Ducky stood a few feet away and when he noticed I was awake, he stepped forward and knelt beside me.  
"You should rest." He said.  
"I'm fine." I said. I stood.  
"You should at least go get checked out by a doctor." Ducky said.  
"You are a doctor Duck. I'm fine. Time to get back to work." I said. I turned and walked towards my lab. Gibbs raced after me and grabbed my arm.  
"Duck's right, Abs, you need to go to a doctor**. **You've never passed out here." He said.  
"I'm fine Gibbs. I'll go and see someone later."  
"I'm taking you to my doctor now." He said. He grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the elevator. I tried to shake him loose, but he gripped tighter. I sighed and let him lead me.

I sat in on a bed, as the doctor took my vitals. The blood pressure cuff had been the last thing to do.  
"I'm fine aren't I doc?" I asked, as he took the cuff off. He nodded and I looked at Gibbs, "See I told you so. Can we go back to work now?"  
"There is one more thing, but I think we need to chat privately," The doctor said. I glanced at Gibbs, and he was as puzzled as I was, but he took the hint, and left the room, "Abigail. I need you to take one more test for me." He said.  
"Which is what?" I asked.  
"Pregnancy. You said that you had been throwing up, not wanting to eat food, and now you pass out. I think you could be pregnant." I stared at him in disbelief. He gave me a pregnancy test from the shelf behind him and he pointed me to a bathroom.

I went in there and peed on the little stick. When I gave it to him, I feared that he may be right. We waited a minute and he looked at me.  
"Congratulations, you're pregnant." He smiled at me. I felt sick again, and I raced into the bathroom again. I flung the seat open and threw up. I couldn't believe I was pregnant, but I had no emotion. I was numb. I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and went back into his office.  
"Thanks doc. I'll pay and go then." I smiled thinly back at him. I left his office and payed at reception. He had given me the pregnancy test in a snap lock bag and I had put it in my bag. Gibbs came and stood next to me.  
"You OK?" He asked. I didn't answer, "Abs?"  
"Later." I said. We left the doc's and sat in the car. Gibbs didn't start the engine.  
"Well?" He pushed a bit. I opened my bag and gave him the test. I couldn't bring myself to say it. Pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm going to be a mother, "Congratulations Abs," He said. I stared at the dash board, "You're happy aren't you?"  
I nodded, "Um, well, yeah, I think so. It hasn't sunk in yet. I think it's a good thing." I said, rubbing my stomach. I couldn't see a bump yet. I wasn't far along. I hadn't asked, and I didn't want to know at the moment. I was just trying to get my head around it.


	3. Chapter 3

**I wasn't going to update today, but it's my birthday so I thought I would chuck a chapter up. If you recognize it, it's not mine. ENJOY!**

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**Chapter 3 **

We sat there for a while, me just staring at the dash board, and Gibbs fiddling with the snap lock bag.  
"Gibbs." I said, looking at him.  
"What?" He asked.  
"I don't think I can do this. I mean, a baby? I'm hopeless with children." I said.  
"I think you can do this. I know you can do this. You have 8ish months to learn. We can help. The team, is there for you." He said.  
"I don't want them to know. For now anyway," I said quickly. He looked questioningly at me, "Miscarriage is heaps likely in the first 12 weeks. If I tell them, and lose the baby, I'll feel worse."  
He nodded, "I understand Abs. When Shannon was pregnant, we were both terrified. What if we were horrible parents? What if we failed? But then Kelly was born, and all those thoughts disappeared. The love you have for them overrides the fear." His eyes glistened with tears, as obviously memories drifted through his brain of his much loved late wife and daughter.  
"Yeah, I guess, I'm just… scared," I said, "Can we go back to NCIS?"  
He nodded, "Yeah let's go," He started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. I closed my eyes, thinking about what I'd gotten myself into, "Hey, Abs, who's the father?" He asked, out of the blue.  
"I, um, I dunno." I hadn't thought of that, "Last boyfriend, Spencer Tilford." I said, thinking of him. Spencer was a good man. He'd make a good father. Only problem was that he was Navy, and away at sea a lot.  
"He was a good man. He's at sea at the moment isn't he?" Gibbs asked.  
"Yeah. He'll be happy," I said, "Gibbs?"  
"Yeah?" He asked, glancing at me.  
"What if I don't want it?" I asked, worried what he might think of me.  
He glanced at me a second time, surprise on his face, "You have options, Abs. Abort it, have it and keep it, or have it and give it away. I'll support you, you know that."  
My heart melted, "You really would."  
"I really would Abs. You mean the world to me." He put his hand on my knee and smiled. At that moment, I felt so loved, like I'd finally figured out exactly where I belonged. My family, my NCIS family, was really there for me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been a while guys. Happy Easter! :) Chapter 5 should be up tomorrow, or even today if I can be bothered. Also, check out my new Abby OneShot! As always: If you recognise it, it's not mine. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4 **

I stood in my lab, pondering my options. I wasn't paying attention to any of my computers, or equipment. I could abort the baby, but I didn't want to be a murderer. I could have it and give it away, but how would I feel? To bear a child, just to give it to someone else? How would they feel? I know I had felt betrayed when I'd discovered I'd been adopted. There was only one logical option, for me, and that was: have the baby and keep it. Raise it. Love it. I hugged Bert, "What do you reckon Bert? Do you reckon I could do it?" Bert didn't say anything, "I reckon I can too."  
"Do what?" I turned to see Dinozzo standing in my doorway.  
"Ah nothing Tony." I smiled at him. He came towards me and stopped.  
"Mysterious, I like it. Seriously though, what is it? What you gunna do?" He asked, grinning wildly.  
"Figure out this case." I gave him an excuse.  
"I think you're lying to me Abby," He stepped closer, and grabbed my shoulders, "Tell me, Abby." He said, seriously. I looked at him. His eyes were creased in worry and I wanted to tell him, so bad.  
I sighed, "Promise you won't tell anyone?" I asked.  
"Cross my heart, hope to die." He grinned.  
"Tony, I'm pregnant." I said. His face lit up.  
"Oh my gosh, congratulations!" He cried, lifting my off my feet and spinning me around. When he put me down I walked away from him.  
"Yeah, thanks." I said.  
"What's the problem?" He asked, stepping forward and spinning me around.  
"I don't know if I want it." I whispered. He pulled me close, into a hug and didn't say anything for a while.  
"Abs, I'll support you, in whatever you want to do. All the others will too." He said.  
"You can't tell them." I said, pulling away from him.  
"I won't Abs. I promise." He said. I knew I could trust him. He was a very trustworthy person, with the really personal stuff. With the trivial stuff, girlfriends, boyfriends, things like that, he was not trustworthy. But I knew I could tell him about this, and it would never be uttered to anyone else.  
"So, what did you want?" I asked.  
"I heard you collapsed. Are you OK?" He asked seriously.  
"Yeah I'm fine. It was because of the baby." I said, grabbing my remote and turning my music on. He took that as a cue to leave.  
"Remember, Abs, my door is always open." He said.  
"Thanks Tony." I smiled at him. He left the room. I went and sat at my desk. I closed my eyes, leaned forward onto my desk, and listened to my music.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. We've had a few deaths that my family have had to deal with, and I'm really not coping with it. **

**This is a short chapter, and because of that, I will post two chapters in this upload. I feel like this story is really puckering out into nothing, so if you have any good ideas, feel free to review them, or PM me! **

**As always, if you recognise it, it's not mine. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 5 **

"Abby? Abby!" I woke with a start. I looked up wearily to see Gibbs walking towards me.  
"Yeah?" I asked.  
"I need you to trace Dallas' phone for me. We linked him to the Petty Officer, and we have our murderer," He said. I stood and made my way over to my computer. I clicked a few buttons and wrote the address on a sticky note. I stuck the note on Gibbs' jacket, "Thank you Abby." He smiled and left the room. I left too. I wanted something to eat, and the baby was craving Chinese. I walked to the Chinese shop instead of driving, and I chose something I don't normally eat. This baby was screwing up my food eating! Damn child. I wandered back to the NCIS office and Ziva spotted me.  
"Eating something different today hey Abby?" She asked.  
"Yep. Wanted to try something else." I grinned. She smiled back at me.  
"It's my favourite." She said.  
"I didn't know that Ziva. We should have Chinese together soon." I said.  
"I have been wanting Vietnamese lately," She said. I felt the vomit come up my throat, and I forced it back down, "You OK? You don't look good."  
"I think I'll stick to Chinese." I said, not wanting to give away that I was pregnant. She gave me a strange look and then said:  
"Congratulations."  
"What for?" I asked, puzzled.  
"The baby," She said. I might have looked surprised for she said, "I have a few friends. I know the signs. You've looked pale. You've thrown up. You've passed out. You almost threw up just then. You are having cravings. And the not wanting Vietnamese food? Its pregnancy alarm bells. So, congratulations."  
"Ah, thanks. I wasn't… wasn't going to tell anyone. Only Gibbs was meant to know. But now I may as well tell McGee, Ducky and Jimmy." I said, annoyed that she had guessed. I said goodbye to her and wandered towards the bullpen.  
"What's up Abs?" Gibbs spotted me and looked worried. I walked over to him.  
"Can we have a chat?" I asked. He nodded, stood and we walked around next to the stairs.  
"What's up Abs?" He asked.  
"I told Tony, and Ziva guessed. It's not a secret anymore. I don't know what to do Gibbs. I think that I should keep it, but then I panic. I'm not good enough to be a mother and -" He cut me off by drawing me into his arms. I felt the tears begin to well and willed them to go away. However, they didn't stay put. They spilled over onto my cheeks and then I was full on sobbing into Gibbs' jacket.  
"Shh, shh Abs, it's OK. It's OK Abby. Shh." He whispered, and stroked my hair. He hugged me for what felt like forever, and I was comfortable in his arms. I didn't want to leave. It was safe. I could forget about the child I was bearing.  
"Gibbs, I can't do this. I just, I can't do this." I whispered in between sobs.  
"Yeah, yeah you can." He said, and he held me tighter.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is a super short chapter too, which I had totally spaced about. Um, hope you like it anyways though! Review Review Review guys! It really makes my day! **

**If you recognise it, it's not mine. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 6 **

Gibbs had put me in his chair, and at my request, had called the team, including Director Vance to the bullpen. They stood in a semicircle in front of Gibbs' desk and waited for me to say something. I looked up, and took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant." I said. I smiled. I had thought about it and realised that I was excited to be a Mum. I loved children.  
"Oh, Abigail, congratulations," Ducky was the first person to speak, and he came to me for a hug. I stood and gave him one. As he let go, he held my hands, "You will make a great mother." He said.  
"Thanks Duck." The next person to react was McGee.  
"Abby! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" He rushed forward to hug me, nearly knocking me over in the process.  
"Thanks Tim."  
"Congratulations Miss Scuito." The Director stepped forward, and hugged me, a short but sweet hug. Jimmy Palmer was the only person who hadn't congratulated me. He stood there, looking broken. Everybody knew that he, and his wife Breena, had been trying, unsuccessfully, to conceive since their wedding. I felt horrible, knowing that I was having what they couldn't. And even worse, knowing that I had considered aborting this child.  
"Thank you Director," I said. I stepped towards Jimmy, "Jimmy, I'm sorry." I gave him a quick hug, which he didn't reciprocate and stepped away.  
"Congratulations Abby." He gave a short smile, turned on his heel, and strode away. I felt like I had torn his heart into tiny little pieces.

I looked at the ground and Ducky's feet came into view. I felt him tilt my face up to eye level and he smiled.  
"Jimmy's happy for you Abagail. He's just having a rough time of it lately. Give him some space. He'll come round." He said.  
"Thanks Ducky." I said and I hugged him. Ducky then left, following after Jimmy.  
Gibbs stepped in front of me, "We have a case Abs. Tony put some evidence in your lab," I nodded and we walked to the elevator together, Gibbs explaining the case to me, "Gunnery Sergeant was stabbed twice in the chest, both piercing the heart. Duck said that it was the amount of blood lost that killed her. We recovered the weapon, so that and some other stuff is in your lab." He said.  
"Thanks Gibbs." I stepped into the elevator. He turned and walked back to the bullpen. I rode the elevator down and saw the decaffeinated CafPow on my computer table. I smiled and skulled it in one gulp. Now to get to work. I dusted the weapon for prints and found none; it was wiped clean. I tested all the blood; it was all the Gunny's. There was no residue, of anything in any of the evidence. This evidence was a total dead end.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, so I know I haven't done much on this and I'm so sorry! I just couldn't find the motivation to keep going! But I'm back! I hope you like this chapter, however short it may be. **

**Remember if you recognise it, it's not mine. **

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 7 **

I knocked on the door in front of me.  
"It's open Abs." Said Gibbs. I opened the door and walked into his house. He was holding a book, but was looking at me, rather than it. I sat down on the lounge next to him.  
"How'd you know it was me?" I asked.  
He smiled, "You've got a lot going on, you're scared Abs. I get it. What's up?"  
"I just didn't want to be alone. Being in my house, I overthink this."  
He nodded, "You can stay here for a few nights if you want." He offered.  
"Thanks Gibbs. I just need to be with someone, to figure this out."  
"I know Abs." He held out an arm, and I snuggled into his side, closing my eyes. I felt his other arm wrap around my body, and I was OK.

I sat up about 20 minutes later, and looked at Gibbs.  
"Thank you," I whispered, "For always being there for me."  
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Abby," He said, "Do you want something to eat? We could get some Chinese." He suggested. I nodded.  
"OK, Chinese it is." We stood and we both went to the shop. I ordered the same food I had ordered earlier. The baby was already dictating my life! And I loved it. I put my hands on my stomach. It felt strange, but wonderful to know that I was growing a human life inside me.

We went to my place, so I could get some things, and we ate at his place. When we were done, I had a shower, and, exhausted, I fell into bed. Sleep came very easily, and it was a dreamless sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey hey. This is probably so inaccurate, but bear with me as I've never had a child, so yeah. I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**If you recognise it, it's not mine. **

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 8**

7 months later, and I was 8 months along. My stomach was bulging, and I was on maternity leave. I felt so great though. I had names picked out, although I didn't know the gender. I was secretly hoping for a boy. I was back at my place again, and Gibbs had offered to stay until the baby was born, and a month after as well. I felt happy, knowing he had been through it, so I gladly accepted. I wanted all the guys close to me, and the baby.

Jimmy Palmer was super happy for me. He came into work one day, and told everyone who would listen. Breena was now 6 months pregnant. He told me that they were both hoping for a girl.  
"Morning Abs." Gibbs said, as I waddled into the kitchen. I waddled now, I didn't walk, because the baby was so big, it make me walk funny. We both thought it was hilarious.  
"Hey," I smiled at him. My mobile rang, and I noticed it was Spencer, "Hey Spence. How you going?"  
"I'm good. How are you? And the baby?" He asked. Even though Spencer and I were not together, he wanted to be as involved as possible with the baby.  
"We're both good." I smiled. He was a sweet guy.  
"OK, well, just checking in. I'll call you later." He said. He was going back to sea in a week, and he was very unhappy about it. He wanted to be at the birth but knew he wouldn't be. I hung up the phone and looked at Gibbs.  
"Spencer checking in again." I said.  
"I gathered." He said. He gave me a bowl of cereal, and I dug in.  
"I've gotta go Abs. We've got a case." He said.  
"I miss working." I said.  
"I know you do Abs. See ya later." He said, walking around the counter and out the door.  
"Bye Gibbs!" I called after him. I finished my food and washed it up. I then sat on the lounge and turned the TV on. I let myself fall asleep. I had been so tired all the time.

I awoke, and looked around, wondering what had woken me. Then I felt it. A pain in my stomach area, and I knew exactly what was happening. I clicked Gibbs' speed dial.  
"Abby?" He asked, answering the phone.  
"Gibbs, I think, I think I'm in labour." I said, breathing through another contraction.  
"I'm coming," He said. He didn't hang the phone up though, "How far apart are they?" He asked. I heard his engine start.  
"I.. I don't know," I said, another one coming, "They're pretty close though." I let out a small scream.  
"Just breathe Abby," He said, "It'll be OK. You'll be OK." He said. I heard his car in the driveway, and that's when he hung up. He burst in the door, and came over to me. I was still sitting on the lounge. Gibbs held my hand and I stood up. Another contraction raced through my body, and I squeezed his hand. I screamed, louder this time. He helped me to the door, and I screamed again.  
"I… can't. It's coming." I felt insane pressure.  
"OK, we can do this," He said, helping me back to the lounge, "You just need to breathe, and when you feel the urge, push," Between contractions, I wasn't getting much time to breathe. I felt the urge, so I pushed. I screamed and pushed again. I panted, and I looked at Gibbs, "It's OK, Abs, good girl," He coached. I pushed, longer and harder, and finally, the baby was out. Gibbs held it in his hands and smiled, "It's a little girl Abs." He handed me the baby. I held my baby girl in my arms, and as messy as she was, I loved her already.

4 hours later, and I was in a hospital bed, holding my daughter, with the whole team, including the Director and Spencer, standing around me. After they had all chorused congratulations', I handed the baby to Jimmy.  
"Soon, it'll be you." I smiled at him. He looked at her, and grinned.  
"It will." He said.  
"What's her name, Abby?" Asked Ziva.  
I looked at Jimmy holding her, "Her name is Kate." I said, watching Tony's reaction. Tears immediately filled his eyes, and he touched her tiny hand.  
"Kate." He whispered, closing his eyes, and wiping the tears away. Jimmy handed him the baby, and he stared at her. He obviously had loved the agent that we had all lost years earlier, and still felt a great deal of pain because of her death. Caitlin Todd's death had been hard on all of us, but Tony had felt it deeper. I knew he had been in love with her.  
"It's OK, isn't it?" I asked.  
He nodded, "Of course. Kate would have loved it." He said. He passed little Kate back to me and I held my daughter, in awe of the fact that I had grown her.  
"Mr Palmer and I are going to go. We have a lot of work to do." Ducky said. He leant down and hugged me, and so did Jimmy. Then the two left.  
"I'm going to go too," Director Vance smiled at me, "You take care of her, she's depending on you." He gave me a hug and left also. Tim, Tony, Ziva and Spencer were the next to hug me and leave. Gibbs looked at Kate and I.  
"She's beautiful Abby," He said, looking longingly at her. He was obviously remembering Kelly and Shannon. I handed him Kate and smiled. He took her and sat on the chair next to me, "She really is beautiful." He said.


End file.
